Keito Idol Story 2
Unproofread Translations Terms of Service
This story is not JP proofread. Unproofread translations are under much stricter terms of service. While these translations are as accurate as I can personally make them, I am not comfortable with and do not permit use of the following:
⦿ Do not take or publicly circulate screenshots of this translation.
⦿ Do not use this translation in analysis threads, story threads, fanworks, quotebots, etc.
I would love to get this story properly proofread and posted one day! If you are a translator interested in JP proofreading this story, feel free to DM me at @citrinesea on X.
A “seru-fii”…?1
That’s right. Anzu asked us to… No, to be more precise, it was a request from the work staff of a television program we’re appearing on soon.
As they’re doing a special feature on AKATSUKI, it seems they’d like photos other than professional ones.
On top of that, they asked us to take photos ourselves... I've never taken a photo of myself with a smartphone.
I'm a little worried we won’t be able to take the kind of photos they’re looking for.
Well, we’ll get it done one way or another. All we gotta do is take pictures of ourselves.
Compared to bein’ forced to hunt boars in the mountains or make a life on a deserted island, this is a breeze.
What on earth are those examples?
But, well, you’re not wrong. Should we get started, then?
Let’s see, to get this camera into selfie mode, I’m pretty sure you gotta press this part of the screen, right…? Oh, it switched.
I don’t tend to look at my face unless there’s a mirror. It’s kinda embarrassin’...
Hm… At this angle, there’s quite the emphasis on your jaw.
You have to keep the subject of the picture in mind while adjusting the position of the camera at the same time, huh? It’s quite tricky.
…
Kanzaki, you’re staring quite intently at the smartphone. You might be unfamiliar with the technology, but that doesn't mean you can't use it, right?
Right. Thanks to Yuuki-dono, it’s gotten to where I can use it better than before.
However, I’m not as well-taught with the functions of “kamuras”. Why is self-photography called something like a “seru-fii” in the first place?
I don't have to pay a fee to use my phone, do I...?2
Fee…? Ahh, I thought you’d been weirdly quiet for a while now…
Listen, Kanzaki. “Take a selfie” comes from the words “self” and “taking a picture”. It has nothing to do with fees.
Give me your smartphone, I’ll set up the camera for you.
I am deeply indebted, thank you.
But why did they request us to take pictures of ourselves?
If we are going to use them on the program, wouldn't having a "kamura-man" take them have it come out better?
I was curious too. I asked Anzu about it.
Apparently, the production team wanted us to show our natural selves to the viewers so they'd feel closer to us.
Even so, I think it's going to look unnatural having us do something we usually don't... How incorrigible.
Alright, there. You should be able to take pictures now. Here you go, Kanzaki.
You have my thanks, Hasumi-dono.
Hmm… Is this how you take the “seru-fii”?
Oi, oi, Kanzaki. Turn the phone around. Look at the screen, not the camera on the backside.
Mnmn, I’ve appeared on the screen! How does the “ren-zu” of the “ka-mera” capture me when it’s not facing towards me…!?
There’s a front-facing camera on the same side of the screen. There's nothing that changes from when you take a normal picture... Well, I guess you wouldn’t get it if you’re not familiar with the camera features.
Just press the big white circle on the screen, Kanzaki. It's simple, give it a try.
Right! Putting my index finger on the big white circle… Ha!
What on earth—!? Hasumi-dono, Kiryu-dono! The sound of the shutter won’t stop…!
Calm down, Kanzaki. Try taking your finger off the white circle.
Mn… It stopped. Phew, that’s Hasumi-dono for you! You guide with a steady hand!
Haha, how many shots didja take? Let's see.
Mnmn. There are plenty of photos of me with my eyes wide with astonishment.
But the focus is off. Maybe because I moved my smartphone in a hurry... I couldn't get a good shot, how frustrating.
… Well, if anything, isn’t that your natural self?
I'm so aware of the camera, the expressions I make look no different from my promotional materials. How about you, Kiryu?
What are you askin’ me for… I'm no better than you, Danna. I just stare blankly into the camera, and it ends up turnin’ out like an ID photo.
Hm~mm. We’re not going to come up with any ideas like this. Let’s look it up on the internet.
“Selfie”, “pose”... Hm, it seems like there’s lots of photos where they’re putting their palm on their cheek. I wonder if there’s a reason they’re doing that.
... Ohh, it makes your face look petite. When you cover your cheek with your hand like that, it conceals it, I see.
Selfies aren’t just about taking pictures, but being creative enough to enhance the appearance. Maybe idols and selfie culture have something in common.
Well, I'll give it a shot. I’ll put my left hand on my cheek, and with my right hand… (Click).
How’s it look? Did it turn out good?
Show me too— I would like to see Hasumi-dono’s gallant figure ♪
Hm. I thought it came out good, but… Tell me what you think, be completely honest.
… Ah~... Well, isn’t it fine the way it is?
? Oi, Kiryu. What are you looking away for? … What do you think, Kanzaki?
H~m. It might be because of the way your mouth isn’t smiling, but… It makes you look like you have a cavity, and you’re pushing past the pain for the picture.
Wh— A cavity…!?
Ah~ … He just up and said it.
What?! Did I say something I shouldn’t have?
I’m sincerely sorry! Hasumi-dono said to be completely honest… No, that sort of excuse is shameful. As a proper samurai, I will apologize with this seppuku…!3
Hold it, Kanzaki, I always say it, but you don’t need to perform seppuku for something like this. … I was just embarrassed about how good I thought it came out.
Making mistakes over and over is how people grow. If we try it a few more times, we should be able to get better at taking pictures. Let’s take turns practicing.
Understood. I’ll aim for the white circle, and… Hah!
Mnmn. The background looks sharp and clear, but for some reason, my figure is blurred. Is it because the “ka-mera” hates me?
Isn’t it ‘cuz the focus isn’t on yer face? Gimme that for a sec.
(It's funny to see two guys huddled around a small smartphone together... Here, I’ll take a picture.)
(... Hmm, that turned out pretty good. It’s easy when it’s like this.)
(That's right. We don’t need to limit ourselves to taking selfies. We can take pictures of each other.)
(If anything, that would be a better way to show what the production team wanted to see— our "natural selves".)
Kiryu, Kanzaki, come here for a second. I think I’ve come up with a game plan. I feel like if we can get some good, natural photos if we do it this way.
Translation Notes
- ↑ In Japanese, words from other languages (such as English) are typically rendered in katakana. However, when Souma uses katakana words, they are all written in hiragana instead, likely to emphasize how he struggles with foreign words. These words are kept as written in hiragana, and put in "quotes". The word for selfie is じどり (shidori), but I chose to localize this to セルフィ/せるふぃ (serufii).
- ↑ The original play on words is 鶏 (tori; chicken) and じどり (shidori; selfie). The original line is "鶏と写真にどのような因果が……" (What sort of relationship do chickens and photography have, anyways...). I chose to localize this to keep the wordplay aspect.
- ↑ Souma's running gag is regularly resorting to performing seppuku to make up for trouble. 切腹 (seppuku or harakiri, lit. belly-cutting ) was a form of ritualistic suicide samurai used for a variety of reasons. For Souma, that tends to be shame.