Vol. 4 AKATSUKI Original Audio Drama
In the practice room, Souma unsheathes his sword, metal scraping and hilt clattering.
Hah! Hah! Hyah~!
Hey. Kanzaki.
Hah! Hyah~! Hah!
Kan-zaki...
Hyah~!
Can you hear me? Someone's talking to you, you know.
Hah! Hyah~!
There's a flurry of footsteps as Souma approaches and lunges with his sword.
En garde!1
—!
Keito gasps and stumbles backwards. He's knocked back, sliding across the wood flooring.
What the– Is that you, Hasumi-dono? Have you been here the whole time?
A-Ah... I had thought no one was here, so I was just swinging my sword as I pleased.
Souma paces up to him.
Hasumi-dono, are you hurt?
Keito's shoes squeak on the floor as Souma helps him to his feet.
You...
You truly are incorrigible...
How many times have I warned you not to swing your sword like that? And yet here we are again...
(A sigh) Maybe I should confiscate your sword after all.
Souma drops to his knees in dogeza, planting one hand after the other on the floor.
Confiscation? Please, you can do anything else, just not that! The katana is the soul of a samurai. If I do not have my katana, it makes me no different than everyone else! I will have no reason to live!
The school bell rings.
You're an idol, not a samurai—
But now's not the time to get into a discussion about that.
What happened to Kiryu? I haven't seen him around anywhere.
Kiryu-dono? You had summoned us to the practice room, but I had not seen you, so I had figured I would partake in some training. I don't remember having seen Kiryu-dono in that span of time.
Kiryu... He has some nerve standing his obligations up.
Kanzaki. I'm going to go look for Kiryu, so you stay here.
Understood. If Kiryu-dono happens to show up, I'll be sure to contact you.
Yes, please do so.
Honestly... That Kiryu sure is a handful.
The door opens. Kuro enters the room and shuts the door behind him.
Sorry I'm late. Hasumi. Kanzaki.
Keito checks his watch, and the ticking of the second-hand cuts through the empty air of the room. Kuro approaches leisurely as Keito speaks.
You're ten minutes late, Kiryu. What the hell were you doing for all that time?
I got a call from my kid sister. I was talkin' to her for so long, it ended up going past the time we said we'd meet.
If you had business that pulled you away on the phone for that long, I feel like you should have had the conversation in person. I just don't understand what you could have possibly be talking about for that long on the phone.
Wait, it wasn't an important conversation. She was just tellin' me a lil' bit about school and stuff like that, but it seems like girls just love goin' on 'n on about stuff.
She was talkin' about this and that, and kept jumpin' from topic to topic. Every time I tried to find a stoppin' point, she'd be all like,"Nooo, nooo, I still got more to say," so I'd feel bad for tryin' to cut it short.
I think it ended up bein' an hour long.
And since I've been so busy with club activities and unit activites, I haven't had much time to look after her. I know it's made her real lonely.
And despite that, she doesn't complain a single word about it. That kid sister of mine is too good for me, that's for sure.
A chime's sparkles descend from the heavens and Souma starts sniffling and crying.
You and your sister have built such a wonderful relationship, hm? This Kanzaki Souma is so deeply moved.
Stop crying, it's annoying.
Well, I understand why you were late. Still, you spoil your little sister too much. That wouldn't be a suitable excuse if this were a job.
Yeah, you're right. It's not like I don't know it either. It's just...
Maybe it's 'cuz we lost our mom so fast, it feels like my kid sister doesn't know how to let someone take care of her.
And my dad's barely home 'cuz he works these crazy long hours. I feel like naturally, it's all up to me to pay good attention to her—
I get it, I get it—! That's enough. You're usually such a man of few words, but you get really chatty when it comes to your sister. What's with you...
She's just so cute, I could go on and on about her. That said, we don't got all day, huh? Are you gonna tell me why we got called here, Hasumi-no-danna?2
I'd ought to lecture you for getting us wrapped up into such a meaningless conversation, but, well, it doesn't matter.
The reason I called you guys here is that work has come in for AKATSUKI.
Uplifting music starts.
Oooh, by work, you mean "aidoru" work?
Indeed. We'll be performing a unit song and taking part in a variety show.
We're idols after all. Even if performin' a unit song is natural, we've never really had a variety show gig before, huh?
We are a unit that bases its performance in the traditional performance arts.
I don’t know if us and that respect for traditional performance of ours meshes well with a variety show.
Still, the clients said they wanted to see if we could break that image.
When you hear “traditional performing arts” you think of stiffness. I’d say it’s inevitable that our clientele is just as limited.
As always, we AKATSUKI will bring this job to completion, perfectly. That is what traditional culture and traditional performance arts are about.
With that style, we reigned over Yumenosaki Academy from up on high, but... as it stands, we have been overthrown. (He sighs) If you go and rest on your laurels, it makes it easy to be defeated.
Yumenosaki has changed. No, it was changed.
Although Eichi has returned to the school after his stay at the hospital, things haven’t gone back to the way they were.
Our kingdom was shattered by some stone we cast aside like it was nothing.
Anyways, there’s no point in regretting it now. If there’s time to mourn something, there’s time to move on from it.
I agree with everything you say, Hasumi-dono. That said, I have never seen a “ba-rai-eh-tii”4 show before. I wonder what kind of program it is.
I've never seen them either. I make an effort not to watch such a lowbrow kind of show. I can only go off of what I’ve heard.
I’m pretty sure it’s a show that mixes together all kinds of entertainment, like songs and anecdotes.
Laidback silly music plays.
Yeah, that’s basically what it is. There’s a lotta pointless conversation, but there’s some pretty interesting stuff in there too. The late night shows are real damn funny too.
I didn’t really care about ‘em at first, either.
But I got real into ‘em after watchin’ them with my kid sister, so now I just stay up all night watchin’ ‘em.
Thanks to that, I’ve been sleepin’ in too much.
Staying up late is beyond me. My family is from the temple. It’s early to bed, early to rise. I wake up at 4 AM. After my morning sutras, I have a light breakfast. I’m back in bed by 9 PM.
I wondered why I could never reach ya on the phone after 9 PM. So you were sleepin’? I just thought you had no reception over there.
It may be a mountain, but we have reception. Well, there are some dead zones in certain areas...
Anyways, I’m essentially never up past 9 PM.
I too aim to be early to bed, early to rise, but it’s certainly not to the extent of Hasumi-dono. I go to sleep at 10 PM and awake at 5 AM.
Still, I think that’s plenty enough. I can’t say I have a usual time I get up. I go to bed at all kindsa different times, and I try to get up at 6, but sometimes I end up sleepin’ in closer to 8.
You… Even though you’re a member of AKATSUKI? Rather, if you get up at 8 AM, you’d probably end up late.
A buddy from middle school comes and picks me up everyday.
I keep tellin’ him he doesn’t have to, but he just keeps insistin’ on it, so I can’t just turn him down.
(Sigh) It doesn’t matter how much I tell ‘im I don’t wanna get on a bike ‘cuz I can’t do vehicles, he just won’t listen.
Well, he’s not a bad guy, though.
He’s got this scary look about ‘im that sends kids runnin’ and peein’ their pants, but he means well.
Is that right? I see now. I thought I saw some scary-looking fellow passing by the academy. I didn’t know it was one of your pals.
How many times do I have to say it? You are a member of AKATSUKI.
Think of all the rumors that’d come out if people saw you hanging out with some ne’er do well somewhere.
It’s dangerous enough as it is, but what do you intend on doing if this impacts AKATSUKI past repair?
I don’t think you should be judgin’ people by their appearances, but...
Well… You got a point. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to tell him not to come pick me up anymore.
Yes, obviously. Now let’s get back to the conversation at hand. The unit song should be fine, but the problem is with the variety show element.
Well, if you two haven’t seen variety shows before, I’d say we gotta watch those before anything else, right?
I concur with Kiryu-dono. I do not watch “te-re-bi-sion” often, so I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of show it is.
Souma draws his sword in his excitement.
Don’t draw your sword, Kanzaki. Drawing your sword whenever you get excited is a bad habit of yours.
Still, even if we wanted to watch it, we don’t have the videos we need. Kiryu, are you planning on borrowing some DVDs?
You don’t gotta worry about that. I’ve actually got the DVDs on me today since I was gonna return them.
Bam! A triumphant brassy hit as Kuro pulls them out. Heroic whimsical rock music plays.
There’s some variety shows mixed in there too, so it shakes out perfectly. I booked the AV room, so we can just go and use that atraight away.3
You’re thoroughly prepared. It’s like you knew what I was going to say before I even said it.
It just all happened to line up that way. I’m honestly surprised things worked out this well too.
Actually, I was just gonna cancel my reservation before I got here, but I ended up getting pulled into that longass phone call with my kid sister.
Ah, hm… Guess I better thank her afterward. Maybe I should go pick up some of her favorite sweets on my way home.
Like I said, you spoil your sister too much.
Well, whatever. Anyways, if we have the materials, that’s all we can ask for.
Time is money as they say. We better get to it quickly.
The scene shifts into the AV room. Souma is fiddling with the device.
— So is this device what we use to play the DVDs?
Have you never used a DVD player before?
Kuro walks over as he answers and picks up the bundle of wires. There's a humurous boing of a spring as Kuro checks the machine.
Ah, damn, look at all these wires tangled up together…— I’m gonna do my thing, so you just sit there and watch, ‘kay?
Understood...
Souma steps aside. Kuro murmurs to himself as he tinkers with the DVD player.
A little of this here…
There we go, got it.
The functioning DVD player clunks and ejects. Kuro places a DVD in it and closes it while he speaks to Souma.
Alrighty, Kanzaki, come on over and sit, and watch carefully. — And don’t pull out your sword.
They begin to watch the variety show. Keito stares at the screen, utterly lost as he tries to decipher what's going on.
Mnn~...
What is it, Hasumi? Your brows are furrowin’.
Ohhh, it’s this bit. They get idols who don't know how to draw and you gotta guess what it's supposed to be.
At first I thought it was supposed to be a dog… I couldn't believe it was supposed to be a lion.
Oop, sorry. Spoilers really kill the excitement, huh?
The one after this is interestin’ too. Lemme just fast forward and show you.
You don’t have to do that—
Keito shifts where he's sitting.
I don’t get what the big deal is that their art is so bad. I doubt anything else you’re going to show me is going to change my opinion.
The fact all variety shows are is this kind of nonsense— It’s a huge waste of time.
You think so too, don’t you Kanzaki?
Another laugh track. Souma "oohs" and "ahhs" at the tomfoolery on the show, transfixed.
Ooh, look, he’s sucked right into the variety show. Looks like, unlike you, Kanzaki’s super into it.
Another laugh track plays.
Being so enraptured with low-brow garbage programming like this— How incorrigible.
Still, work is work. No matter how much I don't get it, I still have to do it.
The crowd on the TV roars with laugher, and there's a massive splash. Keito gasps.
What the hell is going on?! I could have sworn they just entered a pool, but they’re making a big fuss about it being hot?! What’s more, everyone’s in a hurry to dump more water on their heads. I truly just don’t get it!
That’s what they call a boiling bath.5
Submerging yourself in boiling hot water is no laughing matter! I have taken part in waterfall training before,6 but never a boiling water bath.
To think that being an idol could be so grueling— It seems I have underestimated what it means to be an idol.
Well, they’re calling it “boiling” water, but it’s probably just 45°C. If it were actually closer to 100°C, it’d be absolutely scalding.
But these people are making such a large fuss, like, “It's hot! It's hot!” If it is 45°C, they shouldn’t be making such a fuss.
If anything, it seems like the perfect bath temperature to me.
Heh. I'm pretty sure they’re just actin' there. If they went into a boiling water bath all calm and composed, it’d be boring for the viewers wouldn’t it?
Well, it's not like this is a common job for idols. It’s usually more of a comedian’s kinda gig.
Hm. Is that right? I had found it rather interesting… How disappointing.
Where’s the interesting part exactly? Making a fool of myself for the entertainment of others is not for me.
That said... the more I watch, the more I don’t want to appear on one of these variety shows.
I took on the job because we’re not in the position to be picky. Was I too rash in doing so?
An uplifting jazzy rendition of A Thousand Blossoms, Night of the Crimson Moon Plays.
It’s too soon to be regrettin’ stuff. It’s not like you to whine like a baby before you’ve even done somethin’, Hasumi-no-danna.
This is all about wipin’ away the stiff image AKATSUKI has.
We don’t gotta get rid of our special flavor, but we definitely need a new wind in our sails.
It’s exactly ‘cuz of that, I think we should accept this job.
I get that without you needing to say it. It is impossible for AKATSUKI to make its return if we stay stuck in our ways.
If we’re going to do something, we’re going to do it all the way through.
Kiryu! Boot up all the DVDs you’ve got!
I won’t miss a single word! I will engulf it with my whole being!
(A hearty laugh) You seem like a good boy megane on the surface, and yet you get like this as soon as you’re fired up. That’s exactly why I chose to stick by your side.
Now~ then. I’m lookin’ forward to see how AKATSUKI evolves from here too.
Translation Notes
- ↑ ちぇすと (chesuto or chesto), an exclamation Souma gives when he lunges with his sword. I've localized this as "en garde" to give it a similar feeling.
- ↑ Kuro often refers to Keito as 旦那 (danna, lit. master ), or "boss". He'll also use Hasumi-no-danna.
- ↑ Kuro frequents the AV Room, like in Kuro Substory 1.
- ↑ In Japanese, words from other languages (such as English) are typically rendered in katakana. However, when Souma uses katakana words, they are all written in hiragana instead, likely to emphasize how he struggles with foreign words. These words are kept as written in hiragana, and put in "quotes".
- ↑ A boiling bath (熱湯風呂) is a classic comedic variety show segment, where participants (typically comedians) compete to see how long they can stand sitting in a tub filled with scalding hot water.
- ↑ Takigyo (滝行; waterfall training) is also known as waterfall meditation, where one stands underneath a rushing waterfall and bolsters their minds. This was common for samurai, Buddhists and Shintoists.